I had an unfamiliar experience while procrastinating on this essay. Normally procrastination feels bad but this time it felt good? Thinking through why that is.

Ultra-low stakes: I'm the only one who cares about these essays and my write-every-day-this-month goal. I'm the only one with the power to berate myself over falling short and I'm good about not doing that.

Ultra-finite procrastination: I was chugging along on a sudoku before a misclick erased a lot of my progress and flung me here. It was clear that the activity had a terminus so I knew I was soon to reach this moment, writing these words. The steady progress is also a factor here. Cracking the sudoku felt good.

Ultra-honest mindset: Often when I procrastinate I deceive myself somehow. I tell myself the procrastination activity is more important than it is or that I'm less equipped for the task than I'm. But I was forthright with myself this time: I'm doing a sudoku and then I'm going to write an essay. No lies detected.

In Anne-Laure Le Cunff's model of reasons behind procrastination, this was a heart issue: this essay seemed less enjoyable over in sudokuland because I wasn't sure what to write about. I'm running low on ideas. But I found something today, and as long as I keep finding something to write about today, one day, today will be March 1st and I'll have done the thing!